3 THING I REALIZED WHEN I AM TURNING 23 [HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!]

Hi. Eh I should be more excited huhu HIIII!!!

Lama jugak tak come back to my blog. I berazam untuk tulis any topic for at least seminggu sekali but tulah, tak tercapai lagi hahaha. Hopefullly boleh la kot 👀 so busy la lately haih. But yeah here we go.

As you all can read dekat tajuk I, YUP happy birthday to me! Actually, my birthday is yesterday tau but I just got a chance to make an entry today:)

I am turning 23! 23 was such a big number. Okay so sebenarnya this entry kan i nak cakap pasal what my feeling and thoughts of being one year older. Banyak benda sebenarnya nak cakap but I decide to come to 3 major things, so those are some:

1) I HATE BEING THE CENTER OF ATTENTION

It was heartwarming tau especially apabila orang ingat your birthday. Dorang post your picture and wish you all the best. But I don't think I enjoy it that much. At this age, I prefer a private message where they will say their wish and pray the best for me. I love that kind of gesture tho. But I terharu gila, when my friend spends their precious time to edit my picture and video and posted it on their social media. It was so heartwarming too.

But untuk i kan. 'INGATAN' to pun dah cukup. Even just a simple 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' means a lot to me. The problem is kan i rasa pressure apabila orang text me to said their sweet words. HAIH FAHAM TAK? hahaha sorry kalau words I macam complicated sikit. I segan kot sebenarnya.

Why do I felt that way tho? Maybe I just hate being the center of attention. I hate big surprises or big gifts or big reactions. I was born that way. I love all of the kind gestures. Cuma I am sorry kalau macam I am not being able to deliver the same energy. I just can't lol.

2) I AM OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING

Seriously, siapa je take overthinking kan? Semakin hari I tua kan, banyak gila benda yang I fikir. It was actually susah nak capai a clear piece of mind. I fikir pasal my future, pasal situation like covid and when can I meet my boyfriend and friends, can I get a permanent job? what if i am the only one yang tak happy? Everyone looks so happy tho.

All of those kinds of thoughts kan is seriously killing me hahaha. I tak tahu if it is factor usia ke atau it is normal? What do you guys think? Is overthinking actually not that bad?

3) I WANT MY CIRCLE TO BE SMALL

Circle yang I maksudkan is a number of people around me. Sekarang kan, i suka je my life now. It was minimal plus when you are an introvert, movement control order was actually not that bad. I enjoy je la hahaha.

Sekarang ni kan, I ada hmm a group small of friend yang always there but not communicate everyday, a 2 or 3 friends who I communicate frequently and my boyfriend whom I talked everyday. WAHHH so small kan. BUT I also ada ramai kenalan where i can always text anytime when i need something.

I rasa my circles so cool now. I suka! small but cool haih camna eh nak cakap hahaha overall i suka je la macam ni. I hope it remains this way.

SO THE CONCLUSION IS..

Being a year older does not affect anything sangat pun la. It was just like I nak my life to be more simple and I just wanna be happy, i guess continue to be happy and happy and happy. Being happy is always be my absolute wish every year tho.

Congratulations to me! I hope that I am being able to write back next year of what my feelings and thoughts for turning 24 pulak.

Oh by the way, I went out yesterday by myself, I went to buy some drinks and food to eat lepastu I went to my favorite spot and eat dalam kereta alone while listens to the songs. The simple way to said that is I was having a 'me time' la hahaha. It was fun especially when I can relax and enjoy my thought alone. It was fun :)