HAVE I DONE MY BEST? HAVE YOU?

 

Have I done my best?

I always ask myself that, every single night before going to bed.

Just like you know, I take the challenge to manage these and those without no one told me to. I just know what I need to do and that, so I did. My heart never said yes but my body works hard every second I had a chance. At first, maybe I did it just to prove myself to everyone, but it turns into a habit, I do it every day. I worked hard. 

But still, have I done my best?

I swallowed every emotion in me and keep a straight face. That's the best I can do. I can't even smile. I feel like dying inside. A part of me told me to go, and another asks me to stay just because without me, how can these whole things gonna be function. Nobody knows.

Should I be selfless?

Despite nobody told me how well I did every day, I still choose to stay. Even though nobody acknowledged my role and what I did, I still choose to work really hard and maintain everything organized. I wasn't good enough if you ask me. No, I.m not, or am I moving towards that? I don't know. Am I so stupid and sucks? Maybe yes and maybe no.

So?

I got nothing at the end of the day. I just know that I worked super hard. But to who?? I don't even know. I just did. That's what I told myself to do. 

Pathetic? or.