BURNED OUT OR MENTALLY EXHAUSTED adalah common. Satu perasaan yang normal.

Lately kan, I personally rasa burned out sangat. Tak tahan. I menangis like out of nowhere. My emotion macam roller coaster. Sekejap rasa okay happy semua and sekejap lagi I am a mess. Ada banyak sangat benda nak kena fikir, nak kena settle and then masalah datang non stop. WOW oh great! I rasa macam seluruh energy I kena absorb.

Ditambahkan lagi dengan keadaan Covid sekarang yang went over more than 5000 cases daily dan jugak pelaksanaan total lockdown. I, personally akan habis degree in few months. Lagi sebulan dah kena intern. Sekarang kena siapkan FYP and I have my final examination coming up. I rasa terperap hadap laptop all the time, tak boleh keluar, kena uruskan kerja dekat rumah ni and with family issues and everything.

I HAD ENOUGH.

I menangis tadi waktu dalam shower. I penat la. I told my boyfriend then dia cakap I need to rest. Yes, that's what I need all this time. I off my phone semua, tak kisah la ada call ke apa nanti, whatsapp or email coming in. I tak nak fikir at this moment. Hanya Allah je tahu.

Bagi korang yang tengah rasa macam I sekarang, I have nothing to say. Who am i untuk cakap everything will be fine? I don't even know my future pun, how can I predict yours?

But I just wanna share with you guys apa yang I fikir.

Hidup ni kan, no one ever tell you that it's gonna be easy. Even you ada duit semua ada semua la orang cakap. Will you be happy? It makes me come to one conclusion:

HAPPINESS IS A STATE OF MIND AND YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT IS RESPONSIBLE FOR IT.

Every year on my birthday, I always wish for happiness. Tak kira la dalam bentuk apa pun sebab I tahu happiness tu mahal. Maybe I happy waktu I tengok drama, maybe waktu I sleep or lepas makan aiskrim. It can be that simple. I nak happy. Korang?

But apabila kita rasa feelings macam sekarang, macam everything was too much and really overwhelmed. Let take a step back. I don't know how, but let just do it. Berhenti sekejap. Calm. Centrekan balik otak kita hahaha and start again?

OMG, WHY I CRYING SEKARANG HAHA I AM UGLY CRYING RIGHT NOW!

But let start again? Shall we? Lets mula balik atau pergi dekat last stop yang kita tinggal and work on it again. Let's be happy guys, handle yourself well. Kalau rasa too much, always think about yourself first. Sounds selfish but that's how it is. Macam iklan Loreal, 'Kerana dirimu begitu berharga'.

Rehat la kejap korang.

Makan?

Tengok movie?

Call anyone if you rasa nak talk to someone?

Buat benda korang suka?

Drive somewhere?

Jalan-jalan?

or just sleep and cry?

But promise me when the right time is come, kita bangkit balik eh? We got this!

xoxo.